Irritable

Yesterday I worked first shift which is 7 am to 3 pm and then I got off work and came home and well I laid down and tried to go to sleep but I was unsuccessful at that so I got up and cleaned the house. I got a lot accomplished around the house which is a good thing but sleep wasn't happening. I tried to later take a nap on the couch but that wasn't successful either. The reason I was trying to go to sleep is because I had to be back at work at 11 pm to work 11 pm to 7 am. Yeah I worked at 16 our shift basically but not back to back. I think I would have liked it better if it was back to back that way I got it out of the way and was done with it. Anyways my point is after working third shift I got off work this morning and man I was exhausted. But then of course when I got home I wasn't tired anymore. Which is okay I guess. I'm tired but I'm not tired. I don't feel like going to sleep plus I have to work first shift tomorrow so I want to be able to sleep tonight. You know be back to my normal schedule and routine. I don't want to throw off my sleep schedule. So I will be sleeping tonight and going to bed at 9 pm like I do every night. I was going to go to Mom and Dad's house today and get my tire for my truck but I just don't feel like leaving the house. I just feel like staying at home with Bella and Cinder and relaxing all day. Glad I cleaned the house last night so I don't have to do that today. Jennifer started laundry thankfully so I should be nice and fold the laundry in the dryer to help her out and get that out of the way. Of course at the moment Cinder is laying on my lap and I don't feel like getting up. I am sitting comfortably in my computer chair that Grandpa Collins gave me with Cinder in my lap sleeping so I am just going to stay put. I am watching Days Of Our Lives right now. I am a little irritable today. No sleep and well I didn't take my Risperdal last night is why I am irritable. Risperdal is my medicine for my Bipolar Disorder and Paranoid Schizophrenia. So its obviously important that I take it. Last night I was hearing things, people talking when there was no one there and other shit. But I made it through the night thankfully and boy was I glad. I didn't mind working third shift at all but since I had forgotten to take my medicine I was hearing things and was all paranoid so I was ready for my shift to be over. I am watching Days Of Our Lives right now and I have missed a lot on the show. I don't like Rafe with that Jordan girl, I liked him better with Kate. He was better with her. And this new Will I am not sure I am going to like him. I liked the other Will better but maybe I will get used to this new Will. And Nick, oh don't even get me started on that douchebag. I hate Nick, everything about him I dislike. And if Gabby gets back with him she is beyond stupid but hey this is a soap opera so they will probably get back together, that's how the plot thickens. Still I don't think Gabby should get back Nick, he's a douchebag and I don't trust him.

Fuck this cold weather

I'm sick of this damn cold weather and I am really sick of the fucking wind. The wind makes it 100 times colder. I can't take this shit. I am not made for Winter damn it. And like an idiot I decided to get my haircut now I am 10 times colder than I was when I had hair. WTF. I just have to be patient, be strong and deal with this cold weather because thankfully it is almost over hopefully. Spring is coming soon and with that hopefully warmer weather will come. I will pray for warmer weather because I can't take this cold weather anymore. I'm tired of my nose running all the time. I'm tired of being cold. I'm tired of freezing. I'm tired of not being able to feel my fingers. I'm tired of not being able to feel my nose. Ahhhhhhhh.. Okay rant over. I am done complaining, at least for now I am.

Personality Test I Took

I took a Personality Test and all I can say is WOW. It describes me to the T. Its amazing how much it describes me perfectly. You should take it and see if it describes you to the T also. Anyways I am going to post my results as screenshots.

I will post the results later and add the screenshots

The Girl Who Fought Her School's Antigay Actions (And Won) | Parenting - Yahoo Shine

The Girl Who Fought Her School's Antigay Actions (And Won) | Parenting - Yahoo Shine

I hate this cold weather

My nose is running grrr. My fingers are like ice and they won't seem to warm up. Cinder was on my lap keeping my legs warm but now she is on the couch next to Jennifer sleeping. The wind is ferocious outside, it makes it much colder outside when the wind is blowing. And it feels like the temperature is the negatives because the wind is blowing. Last night wasn't as cold as it is today. This morning has been much colder than last night was. Then again I could be thinking that because I was up and moving around and keeping warm. I don't know but I will tell you one thing, I sure do hate this cold weather. The cold makes me right knee hurt and boy the pain is horrible. I have taken a lot more showers this Winter than I ever have before. I take a shower in the morning before I go to work and then I take another shower after I get off work to warm up. I like it when the water is all nice and hot and I come out looking as red as a lobster. It keeps me warm which is the way I like to be. I can't stand to be cold, I mean I am cold blooded so I would rather be hot and or sweating then to be cold. Jennifer however unfortunately is the opposite. She is hot blooded and so in the Winter the heat isn't turned up as high as I would like it be because if I turn it up she will get hot. And during the Summer since she is hot blooded she turns the Air Conditioner on where I am freezing and I absolutely hate it. I have to wear sweat pants and a hoodie inside the house during the Summer. That is one main reason why I prefer to be outside during the Summer because than I won't freeze to death from the air conditioner. It sucks sometimes that Jennifer and I are opposites on that, we kind of clash a lot because of that. I have started taking my Iron pills regularly again in hopes that they will make me not as cold. I don't know when I say I am cold people are always like, did you take iron pills. So I guess taking my iron pills will help me be warmer or something. I don't know anyways. My Cousin Sandy says she thinks warm, happy thoughts in the Winter and that helps her get by. She is very positive and I am glad that works for her but I freeze all Winter and even if I do think warm, happy thoughts that doesn't make me any warmer. BUT, Spring is almost here thankfully and with that I am hoping it warms up. I can't stand the Winter, I am not made for the cold at all.

A poem I wrote the other day

Staring into the darkness
I look inside my mind
Which is a dark place
Where I keep my thoughts hidden
Fore I keep my thoughts to myself
Because no one would understand
Just a dark soul
Wandering this earth
Filled with madness
Trying to stay sane
In a world full of craziness

- Aiden Bean

There are some things that  money cannot buy. Like manners, morals and intelligence.

Dog's Bedtime Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
The king size bed is soft and deep
I sleep right in the center groove
My human beings can hardly move
I've trapped their legs,
They're tucked in tight
And here is where i pass the night

No one disturbs me or dare intrude
Till morning comes and I want food
I sneak up slowly to begin
And nibble on my human's chin
For morning's here, it's time to play
I always seem to get my way

So thank you Lord, for giving me
This human person that I see
The one who hugs me and holds me tight
And shares their bed with me at night

Amen

I made a choice, this is my path.

Never compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, calmness for acceptance or kindness for weakness

Some animals are more caring than some humans. That's why I like animals better. They have good hearts.

The way to happiness: keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry, live simply, expect little, give much.

"Start by doing what is necessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible" – St. Francis of Assisi #quote #inspiration #whatinspiresyou?

Exercise your body, quit complaining, get out of bed, stop making excuses. Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN... Because you have arms and legs that work, a heart that is pumping and a life worth living. Because there are so many other's who can't.

Seriously some people shouldn't come in the store on the phone being all loud. Nobody wants to hear your conversation especially when you sound like an idiot. Besides, it's fuckin rude to talk on the phone when someone is waiting on you.

I can not regret who I was. My past is the proof that recovery produces miracles.

Is it just me or am I the only one who takes my phone to the bathroom with me when I take a crap so I won't be bored? I'm probably not the only one lol. I like to blog when I am sitting on the toilet.

5 Phone Numbers Every Dog Owner Should Have Handy

If you’ve got a dog (or, is it that the dog has you?) this is one list you’ll want to print out and keep near the phone. In an emergency, when the internet is down, or if you simply need assistance with your dog from a real, live person, these 5 phone numbers should be in the Rolodex of every dog owner:

National Animal Poison Control Center: 1 888 426 4435. In an emergency every second counts. The National Animal Poison Control Center is a 24-hour manned emergency hotline sponsored in part by 36 different companies. While there is sometimes a charge for consultation, this call could save the life of your dog.

Spay/Neuter Helpline: 1 800 248 SPAY.Irresponsible breeding results in the abandonment and euthanization of thousands of dogs each year. SPAY USA is a national referral service that helps connect pet parents with free or low cost spay and neuter services in their area. With partnerships at over 950 programs and clinics nationwide, they eliminate finances as an excuse for not spaying or neutering your pets.

Animal Legal Hotline: (707) 795-2533. Do you suspect your neighbors are abusing their dog? Are you having issues with your landlord or tenants over a companion animal? Do you want to report a veterinarian that you believe is operating unethically or illegally? Here is the number to call. The Animal Legal Defense Fund can help with landlord-tenant disputes, veterinarian issues, neglect, and any form of abuse.

Emergency Disaster Information Line: 1 800 227 4645. Provided by the American Humane Association, this number provides support and relief information for pet owners living in areas affected by disasters including earthquakes, hurricanes, flooding, fire and more. While not an official “hotline,” this number is manned by live persons able to direct pet owners in the event of a natural disaster or emergency.

Pet Travel Hotline: 1800 545 USDA. If you plan on traveling by plane with your dog, a quick call to this number will ensure you are prepared for any bumps in the road where your dog is concerned. Run by the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service, this hotline provides travel resources, licensed pet transporter contact information, rules and regulations, and also assists those that believe their animal was treated inhumanely during travel.

In addition to these national helpline and hotline numbers, make sure you’ve got the numbers for your local veterinarian, nearest emergency veterinarian, and your local animal control services handy, too.

God Made a Dog

Samsung Petcam IP Camera

https://www.samsungsv.com/Model/Detail/33/PetCam

How to Build an iPhone Accessible Pet Cam

Check out this article on About.com on how to build an iPhone Accessible Pet Cam. Below is the link to the article. Sounds pretty cool.

http://netsecurity.about.com/od/newsandeditorial1/a/How-To-Build-An-Iphone-Enabled-Pet-Cam-For-Less-Than-100.htm?utm_medium=sm&utm_campaign=mobilesharebutton2&utm_content=z1overlay-t2&utm_source=facebook

We don't always need advice. Sometimes all we need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen and a heart that understands. Sometimes all we need is a dog.

I know who I am and what I've been through, what I can handle and how strong I am. Before you say anything about me, do you know who you are.

A fact of life

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F

“Lies are the mortar that bind the savage individual into the social masonry.” 
-- H.G. Wells

Taylor Swift

I wish Taylor Swift would write a song called, "Maybe I'm The Problem"

People are truly beautiful when they talk about something they love with passion in their eyes

Psychology says, pretending to be happy when you are in pain, is just an example of how strong you are as a person.

Cheating isn't always kissing, touching or flirting. If you gotta delete text messages so your partner won't see them, you're already there.

If you don't want to face the monster don't unleash the fucking beast. I'm like the Incredible Hulk, you better not make me angry. You won't fucking like me when I'm angry.

What a beautiful world it would be if people had hearts like dogs

Talk about your blessings more then you talk about your problems. You will see what a difference it makes when you think and talk about the positive things instead of the negative ones. Be grateful for what you have been blessed with in life. Some others are not as fortunate as you have been.

Bella and Cinder, my babies

Nothing better than naps with my dogs Bella and Cinder. Them laying on my chest or me laying on their chest listening to their heart beat. Its funny when Cinder is asleep because a lot of the time she snores. Jennifer as a video, actually two videos of Cinder sleeping and snoring in the video. Lol. Cinder is so freaking adorable, I love her so much. She has my heart and she knows it. She knows she is my child and I believe she knows how much I love her. I love coming home and being greeted by Bella and Cinder as they jump on me and give me hugs and kisses. The thing I hate the most though is leaving and having to say goodbye to them. Especially when I have to go to work and have to say goodbye to them because that means I have to be away from them for 8 ours but coming home to them is great because when they greet me at the door with their tales wagging and jump up on me and give me hugs and kisses its all worth it. I love Bella and Cinder so much. Cinder is my Basset Hound, Dachshund, Beagle mix doggie and Bella is my Cocker Spaniel doggie. Cinder loves bones, I guess they are rawhide bones. I make sure to keep her bone supply plentiful. Bella is not as into bones as Cinder is. Bella likes her squeaky toys and she has lots of them, a whole laundry basket full to be exact. Can you say spoiled much lol. Bella doesn't eat bones like Cinder does but she likes to eat on them after Cinder has chewed on them a bit. Cinder is sitting on my lap as I write this. Well, now she is looking out the window. That's another thing, she's like to go outside and she knows what outside means. Whenever I say outside her ears perk up. She loves going outside and running in the backyard. And boy can she run, she runs fast too. She does laps in the backyard. Bella is not as much into running around in the yard, she mostly sticks to staying on the deck. BUT, she doesn't mind going in the backyard when the dogs next door are outside and when they're out she goes to the fence and barks at them and wags her tail and well so does Cinder. They run the fence line barking at the dogs. I guess its their way of saying hello to the dog's next door. Bella is closer to Jennifer, she is more of Jennifer's dog and Cinder is more my dog. I love Cinder with all my heart and soul, she is my baby. She is a tomboy and doesn't mind getting dirty and boy has she got dirty before. One time when we lived up in the mountains Cinder was digging in the dirt and she had dirt up her nostrils lol and all over her nose. It was cute. We got Bella first, back in December 2011 and we wanted Bella to have a companion so Jennifer got me Cinder. Bella and Cinder are inseparable and they don't like to be apart at all. Any time Jennifer takes Bella for a ride and leaves Cinder at the house Cinder freaks out and whines and goes crazy. She doesn't like being without her sister. Cinder is very protective of Bella. Cinder is laying on my lap right now sleeping. She is warm and keeping my legs warm. I love my babies and I am so glad that I have them. They have brought such joy and happiness into my life.

Talking Dog Device Ready to Hit Market Soon

Has anyone else heard about this yet? I first heard about it yesterday and I think it sounds amazing. Could you imagine your dog being able to talk, I mean actually speak to you. I can't imagine my dog talking to me but it would be awesome. If you haven't heard about it yet here is the article from Yahoo News.

What if your dog could greet you with more than a growl, or announce the reason he's scratching at the door?

It sounds absurd and much like the storyline from the Pixar film, “Up,” but Scandinavian scientists are working to develop a headset that could soon allow your furry best friend to speak his mind.

The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is the brains behind “No More Woof” -- technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone.

“The brainwaves differ quite a lot from different races as well as individual dogs,” NSID writes on their website. “However it is possible to detect some common patterns and we have no doubt that in the future this technology will open up a vast new era of communication between dogs and humans, or animals in general and humans.”

The research team, who previously brought the world such inventions as the pet flying carpet, weren’t immediately available for comment on Wednesday, but explained the most recent project on their website.

“No More Woof is the result of combining the latest technologies in three different tech-areas - EEG (electroencephalography) sensoring, micro computing and special [brain-computer interface] software,” the researchers wrote.

The operating system relies on sensors in the headset which detect electric signals in the dog's brainwaves. Technology from an in-built processing device then analyses the signal patterns and deciphers them into distinct feelings like anger, curiosity or tiredness.

Sample sentences such as “I’m hungry – but I don’t like this!” or "I'm curious who that is?" will be programmed into the device and emitted through a loudspeaker.

English translations will be available, but Putonghua, French and Spanish language headsets will come later, the researchers say.

How exactly scientists will attach the sensors into a dog's brain has yet to be ironed out. Issues like this, as well as the ethical and social concerns, are the reason why there’s a whole lot more research to be done before the technology becomes available.

The headsets are, however, available for pre-purchase on indiegogo as part of the research funding campaign, with three different versions that range in functionality and price, from $65 for the micro to $300 for the standard version or $1,200 for the Superior customizable mini-speaker, replete with engraved dog tag.

You might have to wait a while for the first prototype to arrive in the mail, but the implications are enormous, the researchers say.

And as friendship is a two-way street, it’s only fitting that the scientists are also aiming to develop a reverse headset for humans to bark their way into the hearts of their canine buddies.

Other applications and accessories the researchers have in their far-sighted future include a “Pavlovian training kit,” with original instructions by the physiologist Ivan Pavlov, to further the owner-pet bond through the use of play and classical conditioning.

“Right now we are only scraping the surface of possibilities,” the researchers write. “The first version will be quite rudimentary. But hey, the first computer was pretty crappy too.”

Chapter 14

I began school at Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation Center in August 2007. I started out as a day student and ended up moving back in with Mom and Dad and out of Walter's apartment.
Sara and I had a good relationship even though sometimes it was up and down. She had Bipolar also so sometimes our moods clashed. Sara was with me through the whole school thing.
While attending WWRC I ended up meeting Kourtnee who lived on campus. I cheated on Sara and started dating Kourtnee for awhile but realized I had made a mistake and went back to Sara. Things weren't exactly the same after that. I ended up moving on campus to live. I lived in a dorm room with a roommate, Theresa. Theresa was cool but sometimes she got on my nerves. One time she drew on a huge posterboard a picture of Spider-Man. I still have it. Theresa was a pretty cool roommate but she ended up graduating and leaving WWRC. I ended up becoming roommates with my friend Amanda. Amanda was a cool chick and we ended up moving out of the dorms and down into one of the cottages. It was nice living in the cottages. Well it was nice for awhile living with Amanda. She ended up becoming prrgnant and I ended up finding a stray cat which Amanda named Midnite. She freaked out about me keeping Midnite because she was pregnant. She said by having Midnite in the cottage with us that could cause her to lose her baby. She was paranoid and that was her first child. I was like whatever but we argued about it and we ended up not being friends because I wouldn't get rid of Midnite. She wanted me to choose the cat over her which I just wasn't going to do. She ended up graduating thankfully and left and I didn't get a roommate after that thankfully.

Chapter 13

So after Amy and then Pam I still was living with Walter. For some reason I ended up moving out and in with Pam and her ex who became her girlfriend again Diana. I lived with them in Mount Crawford in Diana's family's trailer. It had land on the property and her family lived down the road. I worked at Duke's Liberty at that time also. Then I ended up moving back in with Walter. I hated living with Pam and Diana cos I felt like a third wheel. And I hated working at Duke's Liberty because the place was owned by Koreans and they made me work in the Blimpie part of the store instead of on the register in the gas station part of the store. I didn't like making subs and I was too slow anyway.
After I moved back in with Walter I started dating Julie. That was a disaster because Julie's life was chaos like mine. She ended up cheating on me with her ex Patrick and moved to Buena Vista with him. That is when I met Sara who was friends with Julie.
When I started talking to Sara I was working at the Kangaroo Express in Staunton and then got transferred to the Kangaroo in Mint Springs. I didn't end up working there long. Sara used to come and visit me at work. She worked at Carded Graphics at the time which is where her mom worked also.
Mom got me into Woodrow Wilson Rehabilitation Center. I had gotten the letter that I had been accepted as a student. I ended up quitting Kangaroo and then got a job through Manpower doing flagging. The flagging job was only a week assignment but that was okay because I was about to start school.

Chapter 12

While living with Walter and working at the Kangaroo I had a drinking problem. Walter worked for Budweiser, John D Eiland. We always beer in the fridge and liquor in the freezer. I drank Jim Beam and Budweiser and Walter drank Bud Light and Crown Royal.
I also had a problem with snorting Hydrocodone. And a problem with cutting myself. I went through many girlfriends while living with Walter but I only mention a few becauae the rest aren't really worth mentioning and I probably couldn't remember all their names anyway.
Two people lived with Walter and I throughout the time I stayed with Walter. One being Laura who was friend's with Amy and the other being Layla. I had met Layla while working at the Kangaroo. She was one of my customer's and one day I yelled over the loudspeaker that she was beautiful or hot or something to that effect and she came inside and we talked and became friends. Her and I used to drink and cut together. I think we were bad influence on each other or maybe I was a bad influence on her. Years later Layla was pregnant and ended up getting hit by a driver who stole a car and she lost her baby. I remember it was rough on her. After that Layla changed probably for the better but she stopped talking to me. Probably because she had grown up and she thought I was the same old me which I wasn't. I saw her a year ago but she didn't really say much to me. She kinda avoided me. Not sure what I did to her but oh well. I suppose the friendship wasn't worth saving anyhow. We were and are just on different paths now and I guess we weren't meant to be friends.

Chapter 11

While I was living with Walter I met Amy. She was friends with my friend Laura. Laura apparently liked Amy but at the time I didn't know that. Laura babysat for Amy. Amy had a son. Amy and I started talking amd then started aeeinf each other. We fell in love. We spent every.minute together that we could. She lived with her boyfriend Joe. Man was he a psycho. I was working at the Kangaroo in Staunton and Amy would always come see me. She brought out the sweet romantic side in me. One time I got her flowers and Joe found out boy was he pissed. I didn't care.
Amy worked at Tractor Supply so I got a second job working there. One time I was sitting in my car getting ready to go into work and I had my window down cos I was smoking. Joe walked up to my window and spit in my face. That is considered assault and I could've gotten him for that but Amy begged me not to so I didn't. I would have done anything for her. We emailed each other every minute we could. And we talked on Myspace a lot. We spent every chance we got together.
Our relationship got to the point where Amy had to make a decision whether she would be with me or be with Joe. She said she didn't want to hurt Joe. I ended up leaving her to go out with a girl named Pam who looked like Brittany Spears. Stupidest thing I did because Pam ended up cheating on me with her ex. I screwed up a good thing with Amy. Yes to this day I still do have love for Amy and occassionally think about her but I haven't talked to her in awhile. I could have had a good thing but everything happens for a reason.
After years went by and I talked to her again she told me that Joe had been cheating on her the whole time. I thought he was psycho and so did Walter. Joe used to drive by our apartment and throw beer cans in our yard and throw beer bottles against the side of our apartment breaking them and leaving glass in the yard. He seemed like a psycho stalker always following me I guess because he thought Amy was with me. One time he almost ran me off the road. But even through all that I still wanted to be with Amy.